I had been having a really bad week and was feeling very agitated and unsettled when I went to this week’s session. Donna picked this up very quickly and we did some work on how she can recognise when I am in hyper arousal. The main signs are that I bite my hand and will often hold my head in my hands. I am also visibly agitated and I may talk a lot more quickly as my thoughts are racing.
We talked about how she could best support me when I present like this and Donna did some simple breathing exercises with me and a really effective and simple exercise where you clench and then release groups of muscles on the body, starting with the feet and going upwards through the body. I was a lot calmer after doing that exercise three times and will try to remember to do the same when I am struggling at home.
It seemed that seeing my timeline in front of me had really overwhelmed me the previous week and it had heightened my triggers. I explained to Donna that even simple things like sounds and smells had triggered me during the past week and I had had an upsetting experience in a sweet shop. I noticed some liquorice dib dabs on the counter and it took me straight back to my childhood. I felt sick and couldn’t breathe and had to leave the shop as I thought I was going to pass out. Donna asked me to write down all the triggers that I notice and we would eventually rank them in order of how much they affect me. The strongest ones we would talk about how I could avoid them or try to do some exposure therapy so that they don’t affect me. I have another session on Monday and haven’t started to write any down yet - oops. I think I want to take my time in identifying them so that I don’t miss any of the important ones. I guess there is no rush.
Towards the end of the session I admitted that I had taken an overdose last week as everything had just been overwhelming and my resilience had not been great. Donna wrote down what I had taken and gently told me not to leave it until the end of the session to tell her something so important as we didn’t have time to do a safety plan or talk about how I was going to cope over the next few days. I just didn’t want to disappoint her with what I had done but I can see the importance of being open and honest because of I am not then she won’t be able to help me.
It was a shorter session this week as Donna had car problems but I was really tired and was kind of glad it was a shorter session.
After each session I always treat myself to an ice cream from the ice cream van but because the school holidays are ending then I guess the van won’t be there next week and that is a shame. The ice cream man even knows my order!!!
This weekend I have felt very lonely and keep reflecting on all I have been through in my life. There are times when I really feel that I don’t want to carry on with my life but there is a survivor inside of me and I manage to keep going somehow
It is back to work this week after the holidays nd I am tired and not looking forward to being back. I think the therapy will help but I guess I have to go through the hard work first.
We talked about how she could best support me when I present like this and Donna did some simple breathing exercises with me and a really effective and simple exercise where you clench and then release groups of muscles on the body, starting with the feet and going upwards through the body. I was a lot calmer after doing that exercise three times and will try to remember to do the same when I am struggling at home.
It seemed that seeing my timeline in front of me had really overwhelmed me the previous week and it had heightened my triggers. I explained to Donna that even simple things like sounds and smells had triggered me during the past week and I had had an upsetting experience in a sweet shop. I noticed some liquorice dib dabs on the counter and it took me straight back to my childhood. I felt sick and couldn’t breathe and had to leave the shop as I thought I was going to pass out. Donna asked me to write down all the triggers that I notice and we would eventually rank them in order of how much they affect me. The strongest ones we would talk about how I could avoid them or try to do some exposure therapy so that they don’t affect me. I have another session on Monday and haven’t started to write any down yet - oops. I think I want to take my time in identifying them so that I don’t miss any of the important ones. I guess there is no rush.
Towards the end of the session I admitted that I had taken an overdose last week as everything had just been overwhelming and my resilience had not been great. Donna wrote down what I had taken and gently told me not to leave it until the end of the session to tell her something so important as we didn’t have time to do a safety plan or talk about how I was going to cope over the next few days. I just didn’t want to disappoint her with what I had done but I can see the importance of being open and honest because of I am not then she won’t be able to help me.
It was a shorter session this week as Donna had car problems but I was really tired and was kind of glad it was a shorter session.
After each session I always treat myself to an ice cream from the ice cream van but because the school holidays are ending then I guess the van won’t be there next week and that is a shame. The ice cream man even knows my order!!!
This weekend I have felt very lonely and keep reflecting on all I have been through in my life. There are times when I really feel that I don’t want to carry on with my life but there is a survivor inside of me and I manage to keep going somehow
It is back to work this week after the holidays nd I am tired and not looking forward to being back. I think the therapy will help but I guess I have to go through the hard work first.
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