I went to this session in the back of a week where I had been really struggling. It was my first week back at work and I had not been sleeping at all.
I just felt overwhelmed by my feelings of being inadequate and very overwhelmed.
I explained to Donna how I had tried to reach out for help To my children at the weekend and it was the first time I had tried to be honest that I was feeling low and struggling. We have a joint WhatsApp group and I had posted on Saturday afternoon that I was low and tearful. Not one of my three children replied or responded and that made me feel very alone and very suicidal. Donna explained that as a child I would have cried out for help and no one would ever come and my children’s lack of response would act as a trigger reminding me that no one is coming and I’m on my own facing my demons. It made sense to me and Donna thought it would be good if we tried to do some inner child work at some point.
I had also cut my wrist and had it stitched in A& E which I call the walk of shame. I explained how little it made me feel when health professionals judged me instead of trying to understand and help me. Donna and I couldn’t think of what could have been put in place to help me but nothing is just not good enough
We looked at my sleep routine and discussed good sleep hygiene. I know the science and what not to do but it doesn’t seem to help. My head is too busy. Donna wondered if yoga would help and I have found a yoga lounge near where I live. Apparently yoga calms the vagel nerve and halts the production of serotonin. I will try to look into it and get the courage to go in my own.
I also said I would try to re-engage with groups that I used to go to - starting with knitting group tonight.
We didn’t really get much done today and it felt like a waste of a session but I wasn’t really in a good place to bring up or deal with anything more than what I’m carrying at the moment. I’m struggling to hold it all together and definitely putting a fake smile on my face when underneath I want to curl up and die. I’m not sure I can do this anymore - it hurts
I just felt overwhelmed by my feelings of being inadequate and very overwhelmed.
I explained to Donna how I had tried to reach out for help To my children at the weekend and it was the first time I had tried to be honest that I was feeling low and struggling. We have a joint WhatsApp group and I had posted on Saturday afternoon that I was low and tearful. Not one of my three children replied or responded and that made me feel very alone and very suicidal. Donna explained that as a child I would have cried out for help and no one would ever come and my children’s lack of response would act as a trigger reminding me that no one is coming and I’m on my own facing my demons. It made sense to me and Donna thought it would be good if we tried to do some inner child work at some point.
I had also cut my wrist and had it stitched in A& E which I call the walk of shame. I explained how little it made me feel when health professionals judged me instead of trying to understand and help me. Donna and I couldn’t think of what could have been put in place to help me but nothing is just not good enough
We looked at my sleep routine and discussed good sleep hygiene. I know the science and what not to do but it doesn’t seem to help. My head is too busy. Donna wondered if yoga would help and I have found a yoga lounge near where I live. Apparently yoga calms the vagel nerve and halts the production of serotonin. I will try to look into it and get the courage to go in my own.
I also said I would try to re-engage with groups that I used to go to - starting with knitting group tonight.
We didn’t really get much done today and it felt like a waste of a session but I wasn’t really in a good place to bring up or deal with anything more than what I’m carrying at the moment. I’m struggling to hold it all together and definitely putting a fake smile on my face when underneath I want to curl up and die. I’m not sure I can do this anymore - it hurts
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