This has been a tough week. Still can’t shake the chest infection despite antibiotics, inhalers and steroids. Had to spend the week resting and behaving myself - which is not easy. Had planned to go out and meet some friends and was supposed to be babysitting for my brother. Had to cancel everything and not one person has asked how I am or checked up on me. It really proves that when you’re feeling low you really are on your own. Haven’t even had the energy to go to the corner shop to get some milk - back at GP’s tomorrow and she threatened hospital if there wasn’t any improvement!
Have had lots of time with my head this week going over the content of last week’s session. There has definitely been a major shift in the intensity of my nightmares and flashbacks. I wonder if it is because I have somewhere safe to deal with them. Something I haven’t had for a king time now.
My flashbacks are very vivid and for a few weeks now I’ve been able to see me in the middle of them. For the first time ever this week I heard my voice and it shocked me as I was laughing and saying that something ‘felt nice’ Not at all what I had expected. That brought with it lots of questions and confusion. Did I ask for what was done to do me? I recognised my voice, where I was and who I was with but my idea of reality was very different from what I saw. I hope I have the opportunity and courage to talk to Donna about it tomorrow
Feeling low and isolated alongside being poorly so this week has not been a good one. Feel like I’m good at letting everyone down but maybe I just need to concentrate on getting stronger so that I can do the things I want to. Time to be selfish and look after me.
Will let you know how tomorrow goes - yikes!!!
Have had lots of time with my head this week going over the content of last week’s session. There has definitely been a major shift in the intensity of my nightmares and flashbacks. I wonder if it is because I have somewhere safe to deal with them. Something I haven’t had for a king time now.
My flashbacks are very vivid and for a few weeks now I’ve been able to see me in the middle of them. For the first time ever this week I heard my voice and it shocked me as I was laughing and saying that something ‘felt nice’ Not at all what I had expected. That brought with it lots of questions and confusion. Did I ask for what was done to do me? I recognised my voice, where I was and who I was with but my idea of reality was very different from what I saw. I hope I have the opportunity and courage to talk to Donna about it tomorrow
Feeling low and isolated alongside being poorly so this week has not been a good one. Feel like I’m good at letting everyone down but maybe I just need to concentrate on getting stronger so that I can do the things I want to. Time to be selfish and look after me.
Will let you know how tomorrow goes - yikes!!!
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